We are all playing catch-up. They are waiting for me, and I am waiting for them. And they know that I am waiting for them.

Impasse.

Of course, it was different earlier.

A long time ago, I was one of them. I went looking for people like me. People who had left.

You could never leave. Not back then. Not now. When you start, you can tell yourself, if it comes to that, I will still hold on, because it means so much that I am here. You may say, I took an oath that I would never do that. You may even believe that this is the best there is.

But when you know better, then it hits you. They have been lying to you.

And one may think, that's all I need to do. Tell them, the ones waiting for me, that they have been lied to. That's all; and then they'll let me go.

But I was there once. I was so sure that any statement like this was made just to get me to wilt. To wait. To let the other one get away. I would not listen.

And they would not listen either.

That is why I wait. I'm very good at it.

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